mixture of emotions

You know when your in that mood that ends up setting how you feel the rest of the day? well i have been in that mood for a week now, and i am trying to shake it off but to be totally honest i can't. i am so jealous that many of my ppl are back in Atown. i know that i am blessed to have my girls here in ft worth and i am very thankful for them but i feel like a big part of me is missing. i hate that i am feeling this way and i know i shouldn't be. i know that i should just focus on how i am gonna be able to see some ppl on the 4th but i am homesick.
Homesick .... not for a place, but for a group. For ppl who know when i am lying and putting on a front. For my girlfriends who can see me walk in a room and know that i am struggling with some form of thought. For my crazy boys who can make me laugh at the most immature things. To be able to run up the street to yell at a friend about the latest band i have found. To be able to play in the rain and pretend to be in the movie garden state. To be able to worship at crosspoint. To spend a half hour at the mall and actually hit every store in it.
i am just homesick and the funny thing is i have no home where i want to be.

The cure have been on my play list a lot recently and to wish impossible things is an epic song. song that fits my current mood.

remember how it used to be

when the sun would fill up the sky

remember how we used to feel

those days would never end

remember how it used to be

when the stars would fill the sky

remember how we used to dream

those nights would never end

those nights would never end

and all i wish is gone away

all i wish

is gone away

all i wish

is gone away

"camp"

Member the 1st time you went to camp? How amazing that experience was? No matter how great "camp" was like everything else in life it came to an end. And after a while you worked through the emotions of "camp" and learned what you could from it and basically just moved on with your life. Maybe you got a second chance to go back to "camp"and although the "staff" and "activities" were different it was still camp. So now your done with "camp" and a few years have passed but now you receive another chance to go back to that "camp" and this time your on the "staff" so the experiences is different once again. Do you take the chance to go again or do you stay behind content with what you have in your life at this time. Part of you wants to go to be able to see old familiar "places." On the other had you have already been down that road (twice) and may fall into old habits. So the real question is . . . when are we to old to go back and explore "camp" and when do we just have to accept the fact that "camp" is a part of our old life?